Alzheimer's and Dementia Respite Care: How to Choose the Right Option

Dementia respite care provides supervision, safety, and social engagement for a loved one while giving the primary caregiver a break. It can take place in the home of the person with dementia, a memory care community, or an adult day care center. As dementia progresses, respite care can provide a structure of consistent routines that help your loved one feel safe and manage behaviors such as agitation or wandering.

“One sign that a caregiver may need a break from caregiving responsibilities is when they start neglecting their own needs,” says Alicia Jenkins, a Senior Living Advisor for A Place for Mom, including neglecting their physical and mental health. When a caregiver who is a family member or spouse of the person who has dementia starts saying that they’re exhausted, or you notice they’re unable to keep up with cleanliness around the house, this is a sign that respite care may be necessary, says Jenkins.

When a spouse caregiver is hospitalized or needs to be away from home and the family is suddenly scrambling to get help for the parent who has dementia, this can also indicate respite care is necessary, says Jenkins.

Three common types of dementia respite care include:

• In-home dementia care
• A short-term stay in a memory care community
• Adult day care.

In-home respite care for dementia

Hiring professional in-home respite care allows a loved one who has dementia to remain in familiar surroundings and maintain daily routines, says Jenkins. “The other advantage to in-home respite care is having that loved one close by and knowing that they’re there and that they’re safe.”

However, Jenkins adds, in-home respite care is not a long-term solution. “It’s a band-aid,” she says. “Twenty-four-hour care is expensive and it adds up.” As dementia progresses, care needs typically increase as well.

Respite stays in memory care communities

One benefit of respite care in a memory care community is that it can give a family caregiver time to focus on their own needs and responsibilities. “Getting that role back of being a daughter again and not a care provider or being a spouse again and not a care provider is important,” says Jenkins. Family caregivers who care for their loved one at home provide companionship, meals, entertainment, and constant supervision. “And that’s exhausting,” says Jenkins.

Memory care also provides your loved one with structured support. “Memory care offers safety, consistency, care, a social environment, and enrichment activities such as reminiscing,” Jenkins says. “Lunch time is always the same, dinner time is always the same, the daily routines are consistent. Care will be consistent and can progress as your loved one progresses with those care needs.”

Adult day care

Adult day care is one type of respite care designed for daytime supervision and social engagement. It’s best for people who are in the earlier stages of dementia and can still engage in activities and socialize with others. “In the later stages they’re more removed and it’s more difficult to engage with them,” says Jenkins.

It may also be helpful for caregivers, who can drop their loved one off in the morning and then attend to personal business or enjoy time on their own.

Because adult day care doesn’t include overnight stays, it’s not the best option for those who need round-the-clock care. Also, some adult day care centers can’t accommodate people whose dementia is advanced.

Let our care assessment guide you

To choose the right type of respite care for your loved one, ask yourself the following:

• Do they show signs of aggressive behavior? If your loved one shows any signs of aggression, even if it’s a mild action such as swatting away someone who’s trying to help, Jenkins says it may be safer for them, and their family caregivers, for them to be in a community setting with professional staff. She also notes that some communities will accept people with aggressive behavior and some won’t.
• Do they wander at night? A memory care setting is also the best option if your loved one wanders or is exit-seeking at night, says Jenkins. In these settings, a team of professionals are there to respond to your loved one at any time, day or night.
• Can they engage socially? If your loved one is still able to engage with others in a social setting, then adult day care may be a good option. If your loved one is in early stages of dementia, doesn’t behave aggressively or wander at night, then in-home respite care can be appropriate.

Signs that one respite care option may be a better fit than another

Here’s how the costs break down for different types of respite care:

• Adult day care. The national median cost for adult day care, which is for daytime hours only, is $95 per day or $2,058 per month. ^[01]
• Memory care setting. The national median cost for respite care in a memory care community, which includes 24/7 care, is $275 per day, or $8,250 per month.^[02]
• In-home care. The national median cost for 24/7 in-home care is $34 per hour, or $24,733 per month. ^[02]

Factors that can affect the cost include:

• Housing, furnishings, and other provided items. Fees for respite care in a memory care setting include a furnished room, with a bed, toiletries, and linens, in addition to meals, activities, and 24/7 care. Some memory care communities add fees for higher levels of care on top of the daily rate and some communities charge a flat rate that includes all levels of care, according to Jenkins.
• High level of care. Although respite care is short term, the staff must help the person who has dementia acclimate to a new environment with constant guidance and assistance, Jenkins says. Many families use around-the-clock in-home care when respite support is needed for someone who has advanced dementia.
• Specially trained staff. Caregivers of people with dementia are specially trained professionals who can handle behavior such as aggression.
• Staff-to-resident ratio. In memory care or adult day care settings the staff-to-resident ratios are typically low.
• Location. Proximity to cities or desirable areas may mean higher prices.

Talk with a Senior Living Advisor

Respite care can help families better understand what type of support a loved one who has dementia may need now and in the future. A short-term stay in a memory care community or regular adult day care visits may reveal whether a loved one benefits from more structure, social engagement, or around-the-clock supervision.

Respite care can also help families evaluate future care options before making a permanent transition. During a respite stay, families may observe how their loved one responds to structured routines, group activities, and professional dementia care support.

“Respite care is a great way to introduce families to a memory care setting especially for families who are unsure whether they’d even consider it,” says Jenkins. “And it’s a good way also for families to say, ‘Hey, Dad, just try this out and see how it goes.’ And that’s how they transition their loved one. It is very common.”

A Place for Mom’s local, experienced Senior Living Advisors can help you compare local respite care options that are appropriate for your loved one. These services are free to you and the thousands of families that have sought our guidance for more than 20 years.